“Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control.”
― Epictetus
You lie awake at night, thinking about all the things you must get done the next day. Work. The kids. Dinner. Bills.
There are things that need to be done around the house, and you still need to plan that vacation, birthday party, or get together with a great friend.
At that moment, it feels like the list is a mile long. The list keeps growing and the time is shrinking.
On top of those concerns, you are also replaying that conversation with a client, hoping that they understood what you meant and aren’t upset. Or, you’re worried about your friend’s husband who just received terrible news.
You also still can’t figure out why another friend just stopped calling or answering your texts? Why doesn’t your favorite show come on TV anymore?
The questions, worries, and concerns never give you a break.
The Skill Of Understanding What You Control
Your life is full of a million little things you have to do, decisions you have to make, and situations that you must navigate.
Unless you want to live under a rock and never see the light of day, you will be forced to take action in your life.
So how do you handle it all?
How do you get life right and make the best decisions possible?
How do you navigate through the important, as well as the mundane?
Learn From The Stoics
If you read anything about Stoicism you will discover very quickly the importance these great thinkers placed on “disregarding things that lie beyond our control.”
Over 2,000 years ago, in a world that we may believe was much simpler, these philosophers came to the conclusion that dismissing the things we can’t control, might not be a bad idea to living a more peaceful life.
While they may not have had the internet, social media, and the Kardashians, they did deal with plagues, almost constant wars, and tyranny, as well as the everyday problems with relationships and daily responsibilities that we still deal with today.
Their philosophy isn’t out of date on this one, it’s just not as easy as we want it to be.
You Have To Make A Choice
Choosing to ‘disregard what is beyond our control’ is not easy. It takes time to cultivate and develop this skill.
More importantly, it takes willingness and effort to even want to develop this skill in our lives. Many people feel obligated to be worried or just can’t let go of the fact that the more they think about something will not change the outcome.
So, first, you have to choose to make an effort towards honing this skill in your life.
Then, like anything, you must cultivate, develop, and practice it to get better at only concerning yourself with the parts of life that you control.
How To Develop This Skill
To develop this skill so that it becomes a useful part of your life and liberates you from the unnecessary analysis of your life, you must find ways to build support around this.
Journal. Journaling is the #1 way to relieve yourself of the unnecessary thought patterns that we are all bombarded with on a daily basis.
Write down what is bothering you, what’s on your mind, and anything that is impeding you from finding focus and clarity.
If you are really struggling, make a list of things that you are stressed about.
Then, one by one, go through the list and mark a line through the ones that you have no control over.
Evaluation. Ask this simple but very clear questions:
- Is this in my control?
- What am I missing by choosing to worry?
- Does this actually matter?
Work For Your Freedom
At the end of the day we all want to feel more freedom in our lives. The best place to start is with your thoughts.
When you successfully eliminate the crap up in your head that is rattling around that you have zero to very little control over its quite liberating.
Choose to eliminate the things in which you have no control and focus solely on the things you do control.
Life will become much simpler this way, which will provide you more time, energy, and focus for the things that really matter.
